Rhapsody on a Windy Night

i read poetry less than i'd like. i read this for the first time in year eleven, when i would frequently walk aimlessly around my suburb in the middle of the night, and it became very important to me. i had an urge to read it again tonight, as i sat on the small staircase below my window. and now i have. memory. is very strange.

on a less ambiguous note, when i was looking for the book of poems, i also found my copy of Treasury of Provebs and Epigrams! here are some quotable words of wisdom:

"every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her own hands". well... yeah.

"it is hard to get two heads under one hat"


goodnight!

If you've trapped yourself in a vicious circle, this pamphlet is for you!

apparently the bitter experience of failure is the only path to changing the habit of procrastination. apparently i must grasp the nettle, whatever that means. thanks pamphlet!

haha, simple things make me ridiculously overjoyed sometimes. i just picked up my cup of tea thinking "damn, i drank it all already". but i hadn't! excellent. oh god it just happened again. surely now i can't actually finish it. ok i just did. check cup. yes, its actually finished now.
i've had a nice day. i went to uni, and talked to people for hours instead of going to lectures. hmm.
finished freud though. watched M. i'm doing some actual work for once, and rapidly recovering faith in my being at uni. i'm still quite looking forward to the holidays though, and to next semester, with its glittering intact potential.

night night night.

she's a maaaneeeater make your work hard make you spend hard

i downloaded nelly furtado's album. when i'm at work, i get excited when one of her songs comes on the radio. it is the same with pink and JT and avril... nina whistles along and we sing whatever words we know (which, thanks to commercial rotation, is basically all of them) and clean faster and greet customers with a more genuine pep. but listening to the album now, it's really not so very good. i won't pretend that i'm above pop music - i have avril's discography. but i also won't pretend that its worthwhile listening.
i worked 27 hours this week. far too many. i don't even need the money, i am just terrible at saying no to shifts if i get a message along the lines of BLABLA IS SICK AND CAN'T WORK CAN YOU BE AT NEUTRAL BAY BY 6AM?
well, technically yes. but.. OK THANKS! WE OWE YOU!
yeah. ok.
anyway! i do quite like the work. and i've only got two shifts next week, so maybe i won't fail everything ever. i hung out with shevorn for an hour after the education seminar today, which was really nice. we bonded over our both being immesurably slack. and other things, of course.
i haven't done any proper work in a while. i've read civilisation and its discontents - heavens, what a mind that man had. also, what a perplexing collection of hangups.
hm. i've had quite a decent week on the whole. i made it to the majority of my classes, i enjoyed the company of friends, and i got my first HD, which felt pretty nice. for all my repulsion at the notion of assessments, i still like feeling approved of.

i've still got to get rid of some of my bad habits. i wonder if instead of giving them up, i could offset the cost. like with carbon emissions.
i wonder how much my procrastination is costing to economic productivity. nothing ludicrous, i hope. nothing like youtube.

take care!

slow night. didn't go out. trying to finish an essay. dada spam poems. nuff said. do not read the following, if you possibly have anything better to do with your eyes.


I safely
promised you
never to
Automobiles seven hole behavior
Rid of a science cork,
Today.

And my Love meant:
Come, crawl my little
Madman. Folded strange,
With the same
Disease tempting cover,
Mostly.

But you
Do not
Speak English.


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. pretty profound.
oh! i saw pikelet play yesterday! it made for a fantastic night. the venue was about the size of my bedroom, and the mood extremely mellow. she has more talent than is probably fair.
afterwards, we headed to a lebanese restaurant next door, which was very pleasant... and then rishi, jared and larry came back to my place for the night.
007 on the N64 (i pwned evry1). mario tennis. buffy. niceness. until four in the morning.

i hope you are all well, and enjoying the remnants of your saturday.

"And the rest of our lives do the moments accrue, and the shape of their goneness will flare up anew."

this is the third time i've started writing a post tonight. it has been a strange, strange evening. bad mostly, though, as always, both the night and its frustrations have settled. what is a little worrying is that i wasn't so sure that they would this time, which is a feeling i haven't had since year eleven at the latest.
of course, i read amanda palmer's diary and watched avril lavigne videos on youtube, and things are better.
who was i to doubt the intransience of all things? i even spent half an hour watching two monks create a sand mandala yesterday. there are no coincidences.
tonight i came across my drama journal from year nine. it's quite amazing, i both dearly miss and desperately distance myself from the person i was in those days. the abbreviations kill me. the conviction of my words kills me also, but in that where-did-my-burning-sense-of-justice-go kind of way. really, where?
i vow to get some of it back. (though please hit me in the neck with the blade of an axe if i start writing articles for the sociallist alliance. RULING ELITE? WHAT?!! i cannot abide their 19th century rhetoric and frightfully biased journalism.(although i will sign their petitions, attend their events and buy their badges)).
i'm looking forward to the holidays. they are at quite a distance, but whisper promises about the writing of stories and the learning of pipes. i would have liked two weeks break at easter... i feel myself losing momentum. oh well. things will pick up.
toast and essays beckon.

night night

"Laying low in a tropical hideout, and if anyone finds out, i'll turn their lights out"

a strange day indeed. five hours sleep again, which has become the average. not because i have anything particularly important to do, but because when i'm feeling inspired, or simply uninspired to sleep, it seems foolish to let the hours go to what seems a waste. one hour of uni. three hours of work, that became four and a half hours, upon realising only after letting maddie go early that none of the washing up for the day had been done, the racks had not been sanitised, and the floor had not been mopped properly. whatevs. i waited at the bus shelter for twenty minutes for the 230 to arrive, and ran into the man that on previous occasions pressed me as to whether i had a boyfriend, and then why i did not have a boyfriend, until i finally told him i was gay. the dialogue that followed was something along the lines of:
him: why?
me: because i am.
but what if you meet a man?
it doesn't matter, i can't fall in love with a man.
*genuine confusion* how can you say that?
*exasperated silence*

this will teach me to talk to strangers. (actually it hasn't). today, we exchanged awkward greetings before i put in my headphones and listened rather intently to some music. oh yeah, and i left my book in the bakery, which is extremely infuriating, as i had reached the height of action and was looking forward to finishing it tonight. the man caught the city bus. the 230 drove entirely past, and i ran rather dramatically alongside it for about twenty metres, devastated at the prospect of waiting close to an hour for the next one. the man driving the city bus kindly pulled up and offered that he might be able to chase it to the next stop, so i boarded, and exchanged another awkward laugh with the creepy man. the driver actually seemed quite intent to follow through with his offer, tailing the 230 closely for three stops before i was able to dash out with a vaguely directed yelp of thanks and run onto my bus. hurray. home, guitar, msn. and an hour unwinding the day to the background of one of those CSI shows. they used a track from The Knife. i was dazzled (though that might have been a result of the spasmodic "we are doing very very high tech lab work now" special effects).
then lateline. the minister for education actually spoke quite well, i thought, considering that the proposed reforms have been accused of being both a baseless election ploy, and simultaneously nothing new.
now, blogging and tatu. my classics chapters have to be read before tomorrow, and yet again i have no idea why i've left them to the last minute. quite stupidly, i know that if i wasn't taking a unit of mythology, i'd have eagerly read the entire book by now.
oh. architecture in helsinki was fantastic. who would have thought indie kids knew how to have so much fun? maybe it was the enormous number of young folk. crazy dancing and great music and a collection of some of my favourite people made for a great night. followed by tequila and merriment.
new buffalo was also astounding. enchanting. i would follow her voice off a cliff. i've also since been obsessively listening to the cd of the support, laura jean. obscure folk lyrics sung beautifully by a melbourne bohemian, backed by sultry, resonant guitar melodies and occasionally a string section - my kind of music.
on an unrelated note, i now have biceps from all the lifting that needs doing at work. do not mess with me!

otherwise, take care!

the divine within me greets the divine within you.

i killed a slug tonight. it was an accident. i do not feel particularly guilty, however i generally avoid killing anything - particularly things such as the "slug", which are already so cruelly treated by nomenclature. it's always interesting, the line at which people determine what is ok to kill and what isn't. my mum finds it quite in keeping with her zen alignment to exterminate entire nests of things so long as she utters "namas te" at the end of it. i find it humorous.
i'm in conflict about it, because at the same time that i don't like to intefere with nature more than i can help, my inteferences are an inextricable part of those cycles. obviously. anyway, it generally depends on the kind of mood i'm in as to whether i justify what i am or aspire to act differently. whatever the case, i will never rise above the status of a toiling agent of history.
so long as my toiling manages to create pretty things, and does some good for people, i'll always be content.

today was alright. i woke late, enjoyed my english tutorial, voted for Ruchir, thereby putting the union into gear (hurray), then... came home. that's about all. new buffalo is playing tomorrow night, for some reason i expect that it will be amazing.

night

We got legs by smoking these.

well, i finally made it to an education lecture today. it was a good lecture, and inevitably reinforced my conviction not to miss any more of them under the pretence of some various, ever weakening excuse. i was never particularly diligent when it came to attendance in high school either, as most will remember, but I somehow imagined that sandstone buildings would be the remedy. They were also to cure my time management skills, or lack thereof. Instead, uni has only really changed me in the ways that I now go out whenever I feel like it and sometimes spell the word women with a y.
I should however mention that I love every moment of study. I’m indulging in optimism, and the glorious way that it makes one’s eyes like hyphens of happiness. I’m not going to explain the simile. You will have to be creative with it.

And for something important… Millie graduated today! We went out to dinner at El Karim’s Lebanese restaurant in Roseville to celebrate. Sigh. I could easily marry anyone who can cook like that.
Which reminds me, Labor is shaping up on gay rights. Finally.

Good evening, dearests.

"In Melbourne you're uncool and square unless you're a lesbian sculptress. Who works only in zinc."

a dandiacal day.
i suppose it technically began with my staying up last night to... do nothing, really. i spent hours clicking around the internet and started reading March. this has been the fourth day spent indulging in the fact that i finished two important assignments last week, both at the last minute, and do not have anything more due for a couple of weeks.
i spent the entire weekend working, which was meh apart from the fact that i got to work with Andrew on saturday, and bitch with him for 6 hours about how pathetically understaffed we are. also, he bought me coffee. so did Rakesh.
the prelude to the weekend was nice too, come to think of it. i saw krista on thursday, to see History Boys and eat ice cream... then i skipped a night of sleep to finish my philosophy essay, which was quite a lot of fun to write, in the end. on friday millie came over, and on saturday i watched Sadie Benning's early short films with Jared. it was strangely familiar - at 15 i spent an enormous amount of time bemoaning my sexuality to anonymous strangers. some people just have more beautiful and interesting ways of going about it. (though i should mention that comparing her work to my experience is a simplification in the extreme.)

this morning i had to rush into uni for a single hour of class, though it was all worthwhile for the hours spent at manning bar afterward commiserating over our demoralising education tutor. waiting outside a bar in the middle of the day in order to start drinking as soon as it opened was a new experience.
i then headed to red eye to get tickets for this week, and bought two pretty cds. le tigre and new buffalo. i am finally becoming a good (i.e. music purchasing) person.

this evening we saw Dylan Moran at the state theatre. i've never been very good at talking about events like it, but suffice to say it was great.

later on i went running for the first time in months. part of the reason it has been such a long time is that the last time i went there were people having sex in the park. at 1 in the morning. to say i was fascinated makes me sound like a freak - i suppose i was more humoured and bewildered by the whole situation. the moral of the story is: do not have sex in the park at 1am. you may end up bewildering me and being written about on my blog.

hm. i should finish my reading for classical mythology. then i will sleep.
goodnight, hearties.