Beauty in the Breakdown

bad week.
i really should have taken a year off. i'm handing in things so late that i'll probably fail a couple of things by default, despite all my other marks. and i hate that feeling, but i also don't care enough. it just doesn't matter enough to make me change.

of course, there have been nice moments to offset the dominant feel:
- i spent friday morning at balmoral beach, crouched behind a mangled pink umbrella, watching the wind breathe across the water. it is nice to know that not all places on earth are shadowed by that false 6am blue. i'm looking at you, north sydney station bus shelter, with your scribbles for commuters and your street sweepers that screech like the rapture.
- i also saw an excellent band on saturday night: Kes, featuring the recorder talents of Laura Jean. it was a nice surprise.
- i've been listening to Imogen Heap and Frou Frou, and loving them.
- i finished reading The Book Thief. it was ok. a little too self-reflexive, in my view, and i usually go in for that stuff. also, i don't know if the desensetised perspective of death was the best approach to conveying the horror of the holocaust. still, it was written beautifully in parts.

should i take six months off? probably, but i might then have to give up my scholarship. which would be obviously stupid. whatever the case, i've got to change something.