night and day

(frivolous alternative: Gay Divorce)

in the day
i take the place of the shadows
i became.
in the day
i take the place of the things
we couldn't name,
in the day
my body takes the space we kept
last night, when

it was unclear there were forms -
when it was unclear there were shapes
or norms, states or laws
at any time,

ever.
in that darkness

like before anything, we didn't have decisions. only

impulses,

that something must exist

to make my heart

feel

like

this, like it’s there

(you know,

there),

to make me apprehend this distance between

where eyes and the outside swap,
in which you appeared and
were barely real and
my heart wouldn’t stop –
maybe a bodily excuse for why
i could not.
but
in the day i can discern
the outline of

your arm on

my arm like
chaos to horizon,
as our eyes open on the bodies that we
pressed into orison.
in the day
you take the place of the things
i couldn't name,
in the day
you take the place of the puzzle and
the skein,
in the day
you take the place of what i
struggled to explain,
and
our figures take the place of the shadow
we became