alright, so here's the plan: i'm deferring for a year. i expected to love university, and i still expect that at some point i will - all the elements are there, but i haven't had my fill of unstructured living enough to appreciate it at the moment. also, for years i've been fixed on the idea that whatever i found myself doing, i had to be helping people somehow. that's still the case, but i really need to see if i can make something out of doing things i really love, first. so, couldn't i do that WHILE studying? well, i've still been playing and writing music for hours a day this year, but there's no satisfaction in it when i'm still seeing it as a form of procrastination. and to be honest, my time management skillz are nilz. worse than my smack talk skillz, if you can imagine.
and... uni... when i go back i'll probably just keep on with my BA, change majors to philosophy and performance studies, and then take it from there.
still moving out.

lastly, apologies for recent anguish. you guys are rad.