oh wow, so i had a late night conversation on msn yesterday. do you all remember the msn? there are things in life that make me reflect on the progress of my existence thus far, and rediscovering the primary source of social procrastination from my halcion days (yes, fairly convinced they've already happened) is one of them. where did three and a half years of my life go? they've disappeared lyk unecessary vowels in the abbreviated expression of life's MEANING. maybe i've just had a couple of beers and a philosophical talk with our couchsurfer and i'm in an overly contrived frame of thinking.
it's strange. i don't know if i still believe the things that i always seem to say in conversations about life x happiness. but at least it's nice to know that i can still articulate my old thoughts with a decent level of conviction. i feel like my face is believable when i talk about the extreme/sole importance of the present, but i really wonder what it would be like to have a conversation with myself at 18. who would be stronger? it's time for another seance in search of what's dead of me, obviously. and a metaphorical wrestling match/ wet t-shirt competition. alllriiight.
also i'm going to do an intensely truncated montage of the past six months, because this blog used to reflect certain exciting aspects of my life and these days it really doesn't.
in the last six months i.
quit my job in a silent rage. in the surveillance tapes i destroy a madeira cake.
went hiking for six days and ate almost nothing but almonds and cashews. drank from a waterfall. felt alive and refreshed, glowing, excited. sat inside the colour green, white thoughts falling out of tree-tops onto my book, my diary, my orange raincoat. wrote nothing, because i felt it instead.
had a fling with a beautiful girl. had a sort-of-serious with another. avoided the word love but did that stupid thing with my hand over my heart and we both got embarassed at how clear the meaning of some cliches can be.
swam in a lake. swam in a gorge. painted walls, got drunk, home-brew alchoholic ginger beer, bicycle rides through launceston, political talks with the lights low because we're saving energy. and electricity is basically a mood-killer.
cuddled a python.
mardi-gras. WOW.
volunteered at the folk festival. yoga in the mornings, music in the daytimes, bottle-soccer and songs in the night time. played spice girls covers with jen on a caravan/stage to twenty people. met a douchebag and jammed with his nice friends. played a dulcimer. hurdy gurdy band in the chai tent.
ecstasy, acid, salvia, pot, mushrooms, cactus?
tree planting, crystal bowl healing, the holy mountain, a girl named nary gave me a massage to psytrance and shook out my soul. fire-twirled for the first time without having non-fire twirled. entrancing, noun and verb. bottle of red wine in my red pocket. held the night under my tongue. dead moths everywhere, or clinging to gigantic pulsating trance socks. mark, louise! wtf? sat in front of fires/sunrises, ate a bullrush and a witchety grub.
met a guy who taught me to swing poi, he plays the santur.
played my violin in front of people, anarchists.
made a zine. made paper. started writing and drawing again. had a party, contributed to a time-travel antonio banderas jonny depp slashfic. egyptian lotus wine.
started hanging out with a bunch of really amazing people in my degree.
hosted ben, a fairly awesome guy.
there are other things. but whatever.
in the next six months i will:
start going to life drawing at the hutch. make another zine. busk more.
start working on my essay.
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Thursday, November 05, 2009
prolly going to learn the bagpipes now. soz housemates.
unfortunately, every good celtic band is too busy running around windy moors with bonny lasses to build myspace pages, and so i can't prove how nice their music is. so um, IT'S REAL FUCKING NICE. although... i'm concerned that my love for folk music might be slightly in bad faith, because it's the only solid dose of fast-paced-slow-building-major-key-music i will allow myself to listen to/ enjoy without having to be ironic about it. so maybe what i want to tell you all is that, at heart, i love a catchy tune a little more than i love a complex deconstruction of song genres.
after a few hours of bagpipe listening, i watched vertigo. lol at the 50s. also, isn't it amazing that people in old movies all dress like old people do now? ho ho ho GOD I NEVER WANT TO BE OLD. what makes the aged neck so incandescently carmine? explain that one, Darwin. unless it's a defense mechanism, in case they get lost wandering in the traffic and need to be easily seen. clever.
and that's more or less all i have. but, do you see what i'm doing here? posting when i don't even really have anything to post? it's an indication of several things. one of them being that i'm bringing the blog back. that's right, i'm going to make blogging a big thing again, just watch. another thing being that i have... so much uni work to do. if by monday i have nothing overdue, i'm buying bagpipes. or a bouzouki, baby.
unfortunately, every good celtic band is too busy running around windy moors with bonny lasses to build myspace pages, and so i can't prove how nice their music is. so um, IT'S REAL FUCKING NICE. although... i'm concerned that my love for folk music might be slightly in bad faith, because it's the only solid dose of fast-paced-slow-building-major-key-music i will allow myself to listen to/ enjoy without having to be ironic about it. so maybe what i want to tell you all is that, at heart, i love a catchy tune a little more than i love a complex deconstruction of song genres.
after a few hours of bagpipe listening, i watched vertigo. lol at the 50s. also, isn't it amazing that people in old movies all dress like old people do now? ho ho ho GOD I NEVER WANT TO BE OLD. what makes the aged neck so incandescently carmine? explain that one, Darwin. unless it's a defense mechanism, in case they get lost wandering in the traffic and need to be easily seen. clever.
and that's more or less all i have. but, do you see what i'm doing here? posting when i don't even really have anything to post? it's an indication of several things. one of them being that i'm bringing the blog back. that's right, i'm going to make blogging a big thing again, just watch. another thing being that i have... so much uni work to do. if by monday i have nothing overdue, i'm buying bagpipes. or a bouzouki, baby.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
We had a rule. Attack,
Attack, back.
Fighting kept us suspended,
A pen over an ending,
A sentence refusing sense,
A court without law.
But you used rhythm against me
After you won words in that poker hand
And all I won were those naked photos.
You turned our fights into rhymes,
You turned your life into moments,
Weak and final.
I wanted infinity and you
Needed an apocalypse
To feel time. But
How can continuity compete,
With something so complete
As a fucking line?
Attack, back.
Fighting kept us suspended,
A pen over an ending,
A sentence refusing sense,
A court without law.
But you used rhythm against me
After you won words in that poker hand
And all I won were those naked photos.
You turned our fights into rhymes,
You turned your life into moments,
Weak and final.
I wanted infinity and you
Needed an apocalypse
To feel time. But
How can continuity compete,
With something so complete
As a fucking line?
Dada Spam Poem no. 3
Screw her every hole,
Cause I don’t see any changes happening
Said the Quangle Wangle Quee,
And her tears began to flow.
Try it for good luck,
They’ve killed everybody,
Wailed nicholas
in a kinder voice.
In their turn the people sent messengers to the palace;
About your college diploma,
It’s one old jug without a handle
Except now you’re four years older than me
But the Frog and the Fimble Fowl
Ventured upstairs
For the owner of the castle
Swam across the Bristol Channel.
Screw her every hole,
Cause I don’t see any changes happening
Said the Quangle Wangle Quee,
And her tears began to flow.
Try it for good luck,
They’ve killed everybody,
Wailed nicholas
in a kinder voice.
In their turn the people sent messengers to the palace;
About your college diploma,
It’s one old jug without a handle
Except now you’re four years older than me
But the Frog and the Fimble Fowl
Ventured upstairs
For the owner of the castle
Swam across the Bristol Channel.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
there is that thing that people do after break, where everyone asks everyone else how theirs was. did you go away, did you study, etc... no no no, you? i actually had an amazing week. on saturday i had jen, alex and jon, a couchsurfer friend, over for a few drinks. we all got pleasantly drunk and then some more drinks happened and some more and a short while later i was passed out. alex sang heavy metal music to me to make me feel better, megan took care of me and i felt like dying at work the next day.
on tuesday i caught up with jess and carlin's gang, we had a few drinks, i laughed my face off and later in the evening jess and i masterminded Tomato Through the Glass, a german art-cocaine film.
on wednesday night i went to see metric with my sister and my dad, and i don't know what i was expecting but i was taken over for 2 hours... i felt felt felt, encountered something fucking amazing and came home energetic but sad, because i left everything of myself in that moment back there. i've been listening to metric all night tonight, trying to remember how it felt to be in the crowd, but at best it's like remembering myself in a past life. i am reincarnated, i may as well be a locust again as be in that crowd again. living moment to moment is something that i usually celebrate, but lately i've felt the loss of those moments more than i've felt the moments themselves. at least loss is a good indicator of what is important.
on friday i met up with emmie, jenna and their friend gin for some drinking times at the duke. we ended up staying out for 10 hours, spontaneously seeing a metal band at the sandringham which i really enjoyed, and around 3am i ACTUALLY ended up telling gin that i loved her. here i was thinking that none of us could ever do anything without being ironic about it, and there i am drunk and telling people i love them, and it's the least ironic thing in the world, because i was in a world of pure sensation. phenomenology probably started because all those french bastards drink so much.
on monday i was able to hang out with all the housemates incl. honoraries, which was incredibly nice.
there was almost no uni work done, but i'm in an acceptable position anyway. so this is what i will tell people when they ask me: i had an actual break and it was awesome.
on tuesday i caught up with jess and carlin's gang, we had a few drinks, i laughed my face off and later in the evening jess and i masterminded Tomato Through the Glass, a german art-cocaine film.
on wednesday night i went to see metric with my sister and my dad, and i don't know what i was expecting but i was taken over for 2 hours... i felt felt felt, encountered something fucking amazing and came home energetic but sad, because i left everything of myself in that moment back there. i've been listening to metric all night tonight, trying to remember how it felt to be in the crowd, but at best it's like remembering myself in a past life. i am reincarnated, i may as well be a locust again as be in that crowd again. living moment to moment is something that i usually celebrate, but lately i've felt the loss of those moments more than i've felt the moments themselves. at least loss is a good indicator of what is important.
on friday i met up with emmie, jenna and their friend gin for some drinking times at the duke. we ended up staying out for 10 hours, spontaneously seeing a metal band at the sandringham which i really enjoyed, and around 3am i ACTUALLY ended up telling gin that i loved her. here i was thinking that none of us could ever do anything without being ironic about it, and there i am drunk and telling people i love them, and it's the least ironic thing in the world, because i was in a world of pure sensation. phenomenology probably started because all those french bastards drink so much.
on monday i was able to hang out with all the housemates incl. honoraries, which was incredibly nice.
there was almost no uni work done, but i'm in an acceptable position anyway. so this is what i will tell people when they ask me: i had an actual break and it was awesome.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
"it's so cute i'm dying!"
so i took my new blog title from the first few pages of this BOOK. books, what an idea, is it patented? here is the quote, as separated from all meaningful context: "'Nothing' is... quite acceptable, that is, if it were not, alas, terroristic and deontic". and then i used my magical powers to turn it into a pun. whoah is me.
down to matters.
i've had this strange urge to start updating this blog again. an urge, mind, rather than a general decision, which are almost always sickled o'er. and yet the problem remains of where to begin, after such a long hiatus. so i'll rebegin with some vague vagaries: vaguearies:
* i moved into a house with 2 of my best friends. it's incredible how seamlessly we managed to adopt the dynamic where friend-time happens but so does being all in the same house silently in separate rooms. our bookshelf is awesome. and we have a compost bucket, which i like to think of more as a symbol of domestic establishment than an effort toward sustainable living. whatever, the dual function is pleasing.
* i cut my hair because i turned 21 and nothing really changed. i'll have to grow it back, ready for cutting before the next significant birthday, else tattoo my face. i also cut my hair because short hair means that in the summer times you can better feel the sun on your head. this makes some things matter more, for instance, hats, and some things matter less, for instance, worries.
* i've started reading comics, now that everyone i know has raved to me about which ones are great. i started off with fun home, which is incredible... so now i want to do two things: read ulysses and have sex with alison bechdel. then i moved on to ghost world, also pretty great. then arkham assylum and the killing joke (eh batman "oh no he's got weaknesses, moral ambiguity times!"). and finally black hole, which had the most impressive art by far, and also rather impressively didn't turn into a work of pro-abstinence propaganda. despite a lot of cliches and unresolved questions, i really liked this one. but that might be largely because for some bizarre reason finding something NEW and obscure always excites me a lot more than picking up something i've been recommended.
* uni is... a drag. semester started well but i'm increasingly frustrated by structure and predictability, and also a lack of personal momentum. so i'm writing and drawing more, which is to say, at all. and i hope that some day i'll have something colourful to post, which is what i always meant for this blog!
so there's the round-up.
so i took my new blog title from the first few pages of this BOOK. books, what an idea, is it patented? here is the quote, as separated from all meaningful context: "'Nothing' is... quite acceptable, that is, if it were not, alas, terroristic and deontic". and then i used my magical powers to turn it into a pun. whoah is me.
down to matters.
i've had this strange urge to start updating this blog again. an urge, mind, rather than a general decision, which are almost always sickled o'er. and yet the problem remains of where to begin, after such a long hiatus. so i'll rebegin with some vague vagaries: vaguearies:
* i moved into a house with 2 of my best friends. it's incredible how seamlessly we managed to adopt the dynamic where friend-time happens but so does being all in the same house silently in separate rooms. our bookshelf is awesome. and we have a compost bucket, which i like to think of more as a symbol of domestic establishment than an effort toward sustainable living. whatever, the dual function is pleasing.
* i cut my hair because i turned 21 and nothing really changed. i'll have to grow it back, ready for cutting before the next significant birthday, else tattoo my face. i also cut my hair because short hair means that in the summer times you can better feel the sun on your head. this makes some things matter more, for instance, hats, and some things matter less, for instance, worries.
* i've started reading comics, now that everyone i know has raved to me about which ones are great. i started off with fun home, which is incredible... so now i want to do two things: read ulysses and have sex with alison bechdel. then i moved on to ghost world, also pretty great. then arkham assylum and the killing joke (eh batman "oh no he's got weaknesses, moral ambiguity times!"). and finally black hole, which had the most impressive art by far, and also rather impressively didn't turn into a work of pro-abstinence propaganda. despite a lot of cliches and unresolved questions, i really liked this one. but that might be largely because for some bizarre reason finding something NEW and obscure always excites me a lot more than picking up something i've been recommended.
* uni is... a drag. semester started well but i'm increasingly frustrated by structure and predictability, and also a lack of personal momentum. so i'm writing and drawing more, which is to say, at all. and i hope that some day i'll have something colourful to post, which is what i always meant for this blog!
so there's the round-up.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Vertigo
hmm, so it's been quite a while since i graced this space with tales of what happens to me. lately i've been more convinced that nothing particularly exists, except of course for whatever does, which is only what i can feel and negotiate with RIGHT NOW. which is to say... not right then, when i just wrote right now, but now. now.
NOW.
this makes work excruciating. 8 hours of the NOW being hell. because if there is nothing but now, then at any point i might explode. and who would there be to watch the spectacle? aldi customers. my charred flesh and bits of blood allover the place, allover the packing bench, and fuck the bluberries are hard enough to clean up. bruising the floor with their juicy purpleness.
so i'm not sure how to live, but fortunately i have some time to escape the headspace requisite for studying and sanity without too much damage being done. and at the same time there is infinite damage being done, because i am here, now, not exploding, not then, with you and the pain. and i don't particularly fit into either.
hmm, so it's been quite a while since i graced this space with tales of what happens to me. lately i've been more convinced that nothing particularly exists, except of course for whatever does, which is only what i can feel and negotiate with RIGHT NOW. which is to say... not right then, when i just wrote right now, but now. now.
NOW.
this makes work excruciating. 8 hours of the NOW being hell. because if there is nothing but now, then at any point i might explode. and who would there be to watch the spectacle? aldi customers. my charred flesh and bits of blood allover the place, allover the packing bench, and fuck the bluberries are hard enough to clean up. bruising the floor with their juicy purpleness.
so i'm not sure how to live, but fortunately i have some time to escape the headspace requisite for studying and sanity without too much damage being done. and at the same time there is infinite damage being done, because i am here, now, not exploding, not then, with you and the pain. and i don't particularly fit into either.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
"You can only speak the truth once. After that, all is paradox."
i'm cleaning my room. i didn't think it was too bad until i had to untangle my laptop cable from a guitar string and a bra strap.
also, i'm watching art films on youtube. for the love of god, femenists!
ALSO. the exam went well today, i think.
i'm cleaning my room. i didn't think it was too bad until i had to untangle my laptop cable from a guitar string and a bra strap.
also, i'm watching art films on youtube. for the love of god, femenists!
ALSO. the exam went well today, i think.
Till the heart-beats of hell shall be hushed by a hymn from the hunt that has harried the kennel of kings
that is what everything should be like. pretty sounding and utterly incongruous.
i've had a fantastic week, really. i spent 4 days alone in the house of my love (alone WITH her, obviously, not just creeping around carving cryptic messages of devotion under the tables. (i would never do that (i'm not too good with a blade))). we watched a few good films, flesh for frankenstein, blood for dracula and videodrome. i don't know how it turned out that i have in my possession so many movies dealing with sex as violence and Vices versa, but i do find the theme extremely interesting, especially when approached through the classic metaphors of ye olde european monster figures. i also read 10 buffy comics.
i ALSO got an email from millie, who i'm missing like you miss an extremely loved cousin who leaves the country for almost a year. unfortunately she's said "I can't skype you or webcam you in any way, as I like to be naked and do cocaine on the internet and I wouldn't want to corrupt you any further than I already have."
so i'll have to hold out a while longer for physical presence millie.
amidst my recreation, i've been studying. i know it should probably be the other way around at this stage, but i feel decently prepared. the first is tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes.
that is what everything should be like. pretty sounding and utterly incongruous.
i've had a fantastic week, really. i spent 4 days alone in the house of my love (alone WITH her, obviously, not just creeping around carving cryptic messages of devotion under the tables. (i would never do that (i'm not too good with a blade))). we watched a few good films, flesh for frankenstein, blood for dracula and videodrome. i don't know how it turned out that i have in my possession so many movies dealing with sex as violence and Vices versa, but i do find the theme extremely interesting, especially when approached through the classic metaphors of ye olde european monster figures. i also read 10 buffy comics.
i ALSO got an email from millie, who i'm missing like you miss an extremely loved cousin who leaves the country for almost a year. unfortunately she's said "I can't skype you or webcam you in any way, as I like to be naked and do cocaine on the internet and I wouldn't want to corrupt you any further than I already have."
so i'll have to hold out a while longer for physical presence millie.
amidst my recreation, i've been studying. i know it should probably be the other way around at this stage, but i feel decently prepared. the first is tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
wish you were here
i dyed my hair green on one side. that should keep the cutlery woman off my back for a while. she's my favourite customer now, i think. who else? a very friendly long haired german, who always says 'fanks'. a few welsh people, who tell me my name is beautiful (my name is welsh) and ask about my genealogy. also, apaz "when i get married" i can say that there is a picture of my mother in law on the flag (the welsh flag is a picture of a dragon-monster thing. ha!). oh you, welsh.
i bought an ipod. mm. i never thought i would, but i've always been unfuriated by the lack of space on whatever other device i've used. and now it's solved. so that was $360 with an extended warranty. and i say that because i bought the most awesome long-sleeved old-woman cape-dress from vinnies for $2 on the same day, and it's making me almost as happy. the fabric is patterned with dark reds and greens, purple and gold, with puffy shoulders and a random militaryish dangling shoulder-chain thing. on one side. gold buttons down the middle, with the gold paint peeling off. it makes me feel like a rock-god magician. i'm wearing it tomorrow to the partay.
some other things:
i've been listening to pink floyd and marnie stern today. some music is too fucking cool.
i would sell my soul for a date scone right now. DID YOU HEAR THAT, THE DEVIL? nothing happened. maybe this will prove once and for all the devil's non-existence. i should probably do things properly, and spill my blood on a dusty crossroad somewhere. but they are so hard to come by in urban environments, which is presumably where the majority of the soul-commerce goes on. right? maybe a dusty figurative crossroad would work...
er... fuck! which way? in my life? should i go? when i cannot see, through the dust... of my subjective experience?
THE DEVIL?
no scone for bron.
OH YEAH. the new dresden dolls album No Virginia is out. it's fantastic, but i've always had high expectations of them. "the mouse and the model" and "ultima esperanza" were 2 of my favourite songs even when they were bootlegs, so it's amazing to finally listen to them on a studio recording. i might start carrying around copies of the cd, so ask me if you wants it and can't be bothered waiting 30 minutes for the bittorrent!
i dyed my hair green on one side. that should keep the cutlery woman off my back for a while. she's my favourite customer now, i think. who else? a very friendly long haired german, who always says 'fanks'. a few welsh people, who tell me my name is beautiful (my name is welsh) and ask about my genealogy. also, apaz "when i get married" i can say that there is a picture of my mother in law on the flag (the welsh flag is a picture of a dragon-monster thing. ha!). oh you, welsh.
i bought an ipod. mm. i never thought i would, but i've always been unfuriated by the lack of space on whatever other device i've used. and now it's solved. so that was $360 with an extended warranty. and i say that because i bought the most awesome long-sleeved old-woman cape-dress from vinnies for $2 on the same day, and it's making me almost as happy. the fabric is patterned with dark reds and greens, purple and gold, with puffy shoulders and a random militaryish dangling shoulder-chain thing. on one side. gold buttons down the middle, with the gold paint peeling off. it makes me feel like a rock-god magician. i'm wearing it tomorrow to the partay.
some other things:
i've been listening to pink floyd and marnie stern today. some music is too fucking cool.
i would sell my soul for a date scone right now. DID YOU HEAR THAT, THE DEVIL? nothing happened. maybe this will prove once and for all the devil's non-existence. i should probably do things properly, and spill my blood on a dusty crossroad somewhere. but they are so hard to come by in urban environments, which is presumably where the majority of the soul-commerce goes on. right? maybe a dusty figurative crossroad would work...
er... fuck! which way? in my life? should i go? when i cannot see, through the dust... of my subjective experience?
THE DEVIL?
no scone for bron.
OH YEAH. the new dresden dolls album No Virginia is out. it's fantastic, but i've always had high expectations of them. "the mouse and the model" and "ultima esperanza" were 2 of my favourite songs even when they were bootlegs, so it's amazing to finally listen to them on a studio recording. i might start carrying around copies of the cd, so ask me if you wants it and can't be bothered waiting 30 minutes for the bittorrent!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Hold onto yourself by the sleeves, i think everything means a little more than we think
it has been an interesting week.
tuesday: watched boosh season 2, read books, had $3 tacos and $3 tequila shots. ole! happy festival of birth jaredcakes!
wednesday: had uni. saw tokyo story, which could be more appropriately titled crouching drama hidden plotline. (oh geez these white kids who make risickulous comparisons between early japanese cinematic responses to modernity and contemporary chinese action flicks!!!!) i was not a fan! but i was not in the most excellent of moods... and i suppose there are worse ways to spend two hours in the dark. like maybe if the room was slowly filling with poison gas.
thursday: read work work work work (proportionately).
friday: read, met up with megan, went to filmsoc - watched The 400 Blows, which was excellent... and then made my way to Emmie's for a great night. i wound up on oxford street for a couple of hours, and had some fun while i was there.
saturday: i got off work 3 hours early, so i had a whole night up at megan's... it has put me in the most amazing mood. i'm still all blissed out.
and i wrote something. it's not finished but i'm tired, and i never usually come back to these kind of things, so i may as well post what i have...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I’m on the corner of Denison and Spring street. It’s marked by the most beautiful Liquidambar in three suburbs, but to use a less subjective point of reference, it’s next to the North Sydney TAB. It’s 5:30am, and the sky is grey. Not blank, awaiting colour, which it sometimes seems, but drained, like a drying sheet pegged up by buildings and bridges. And ice particles and atmosphere, obviously, let’s not get carried away. The milk trucks interrupt me and I interrupt them; people crouched on footpaths with writing all over their legs aren’t to be expected. I trouble the corner shop for some paper. They don’t sell paper, it seems, but the guy at the desk gives me a spare sheet from the bottom drawer, half covered with a draft of orders. Calls me love. There’s a camaraderie, when you’re the only two people awake while the rest Rests. I’m only awake because people can’t wait until a decent hour to get their hands on some cauliflowers. They can’t wait because they’re in offices until the sun sets and we close, they’re in offices because their clients can’t wait to get the day under way, and their clients can’t wait because they have cauliflowers to sell, damn it. The cauliflowers of course still get to wait for the sun to rise before they begin their cauliflowering. This is largely the reward of a six month strike in the late 90s, a triumph of solidarity.
I feel a terrible sympathy for the rest of us, caught up in this conspiracy against decency. Who was the first? Who was the first to think it would be a good idea to make money at such a time? Criminals, probably. I deduce this by the fact that the only other people awake out of choice are the fitness obsessed. What are you running from? Why only when no one is around? Is it a secret? They never stop and they always have earphones in so of course I never ask. It is more polite to make prejudiced assumptions. Also more entertaining.
I nod at a truck driver as he unloads a pallet of smug cauliflowers. My shift starts soon, so I ask what the time is.
“Well my watch says it’s ten past 8pm, but that means it’s, uh, around five to six.”
“How’s that?”
“Ah, I set my watch in time with my sleeping pattern. I drive all night, you see. So a normal person’s 7am is my 5pm. Yesterday I woke up at 16:45pm and set my watch at 07:00, so that when it gets to 23:00 I’ll know it’s time to rest.”
“Even though it will actually be, what, a quarter to nine in the morning? Couldn’t you just go to bed at nine without having to change the time like that?”
“Dear me no, no one does anything productive between 1am and 5am. It’s for drinking. Yeah, I’d probably be an alchoholic without this watch.”
It’s difficult to separate nutcases from eccentrics sometimes. Avoiding some form of supposedly assured, temporally bound self destruction by means of an elaborate exercise in denial is one of those things that particularly problematises matters.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
goodnight preciousnesses.
it has been an interesting week.
tuesday: watched boosh season 2, read books, had $3 tacos and $3 tequila shots. ole! happy festival of birth jaredcakes!
wednesday: had uni. saw tokyo story, which could be more appropriately titled crouching drama hidden plotline. (oh geez these white kids who make risickulous comparisons between early japanese cinematic responses to modernity and contemporary chinese action flicks!!!!) i was not a fan! but i was not in the most excellent of moods... and i suppose there are worse ways to spend two hours in the dark. like maybe if the room was slowly filling with poison gas.
thursday: read work work work work (proportionately).
friday: read, met up with megan, went to filmsoc - watched The 400 Blows, which was excellent... and then made my way to Emmie's for a great night. i wound up on oxford street for a couple of hours, and had some fun while i was there.
saturday: i got off work 3 hours early, so i had a whole night up at megan's... it has put me in the most amazing mood. i'm still all blissed out.
and i wrote something. it's not finished but i'm tired, and i never usually come back to these kind of things, so i may as well post what i have...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I’m on the corner of Denison and Spring street. It’s marked by the most beautiful Liquidambar in three suburbs, but to use a less subjective point of reference, it’s next to the North Sydney TAB. It’s 5:30am, and the sky is grey. Not blank, awaiting colour, which it sometimes seems, but drained, like a drying sheet pegged up by buildings and bridges. And ice particles and atmosphere, obviously, let’s not get carried away. The milk trucks interrupt me and I interrupt them; people crouched on footpaths with writing all over their legs aren’t to be expected. I trouble the corner shop for some paper. They don’t sell paper, it seems, but the guy at the desk gives me a spare sheet from the bottom drawer, half covered with a draft of orders. Calls me love. There’s a camaraderie, when you’re the only two people awake while the rest Rests. I’m only awake because people can’t wait until a decent hour to get their hands on some cauliflowers. They can’t wait because they’re in offices until the sun sets and we close, they’re in offices because their clients can’t wait to get the day under way, and their clients can’t wait because they have cauliflowers to sell, damn it. The cauliflowers of course still get to wait for the sun to rise before they begin their cauliflowering. This is largely the reward of a six month strike in the late 90s, a triumph of solidarity.
I feel a terrible sympathy for the rest of us, caught up in this conspiracy against decency. Who was the first? Who was the first to think it would be a good idea to make money at such a time? Criminals, probably. I deduce this by the fact that the only other people awake out of choice are the fitness obsessed. What are you running from? Why only when no one is around? Is it a secret? They never stop and they always have earphones in so of course I never ask. It is more polite to make prejudiced assumptions. Also more entertaining.
I nod at a truck driver as he unloads a pallet of smug cauliflowers. My shift starts soon, so I ask what the time is.
“Well my watch says it’s ten past 8pm, but that means it’s, uh, around five to six.”
“How’s that?”
“Ah, I set my watch in time with my sleeping pattern. I drive all night, you see. So a normal person’s 7am is my 5pm. Yesterday I woke up at 16:45pm and set my watch at 07:00, so that when it gets to 23:00 I’ll know it’s time to rest.”
“Even though it will actually be, what, a quarter to nine in the morning? Couldn’t you just go to bed at nine without having to change the time like that?”
“Dear me no, no one does anything productive between 1am and 5am. It’s for drinking. Yeah, I’d probably be an alchoholic without this watch.”
It’s difficult to separate nutcases from eccentrics sometimes. Avoiding some form of supposedly assured, temporally bound self destruction by means of an elaborate exercise in denial is one of those things that particularly problematises matters.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
goodnight preciousnesses.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Morally Metacarpalcapped
Or: I Really Wanted to Demonstrate New Anatomical Knowledge. Phalanges!!!
so i killed a mosqito the other day. i do not know how to feel about this. on the one hand, it had exhausted its two warnings, and if i let one off it will be a matter of minutes before the others sense weakness and come in for the kill. on the other hand, was capital punishment a little too extreme in making my example? i wonder if this is really the right approach. on another hand entirely, i have about six mosquito bites. and on my feet i have four, and they are driving me insane - there is really only so much i can tolerate. also, i'm not entirely convinced mosquitos can comprehend the kind of covenant i'm trying to establish.
but i really try not to intervene in nature more than i can help. more for the fact that i don't like any gesture of violence, even on the smallest scale, than because i think nature would somehow function more serenely without humans killing things all the time. there is a moderation to these things... without a certain amount of killing nothing could survive. (maybe algae. but nothing you can have a conversation with or stroke or love, without being a freak.) i suppose i don't feel like i have the authority to take away life for no real purpose.
so one more thing about moderation. moderation is having 10 minute showers AT THE LONGEST! you fiends!!
in excellent news, i have not seen that cockroach-ant-cricket-silverfish-devil insect in my room in a number of weeks. its scuttling is so loud you can hear it across the room. it clicks, and kind of hops. not hip hops. or scotch and hops. or hopscotch. DEATH HOPS. the kind of thing that could easily crawl into your skull and multiply until your brain explodes. or even WHILE your brain explodes, in some kind of perverse brain-explosion fetish. if i see it again i'll photograph it, and you'll see what i mean.
the weekend has started reasonably. smashingly actually. my friday night was fantastic. today and tomorrow are full of work and attempts at essay finishing, with a disappointing lack of spooning. but necesary things will get done, and next week will be awesome, i expect.
oh yeah the blog format's back to normal.
Or: I Really Wanted to Demonstrate New Anatomical Knowledge. Phalanges!!!
so i killed a mosqito the other day. i do not know how to feel about this. on the one hand, it had exhausted its two warnings, and if i let one off it will be a matter of minutes before the others sense weakness and come in for the kill. on the other hand, was capital punishment a little too extreme in making my example? i wonder if this is really the right approach. on another hand entirely, i have about six mosquito bites. and on my feet i have four, and they are driving me insane - there is really only so much i can tolerate. also, i'm not entirely convinced mosquitos can comprehend the kind of covenant i'm trying to establish.
but i really try not to intervene in nature more than i can help. more for the fact that i don't like any gesture of violence, even on the smallest scale, than because i think nature would somehow function more serenely without humans killing things all the time. there is a moderation to these things... without a certain amount of killing nothing could survive. (maybe algae. but nothing you can have a conversation with or stroke or love, without being a freak.) i suppose i don't feel like i have the authority to take away life for no real purpose.
so one more thing about moderation. moderation is having 10 minute showers AT THE LONGEST! you fiends!!
in excellent news, i have not seen that cockroach-ant-cricket-silverfish-devil insect in my room in a number of weeks. its scuttling is so loud you can hear it across the room. it clicks, and kind of hops. not hip hops. or scotch and hops. or hopscotch. DEATH HOPS. the kind of thing that could easily crawl into your skull and multiply until your brain explodes. or even WHILE your brain explodes, in some kind of perverse brain-explosion fetish. if i see it again i'll photograph it, and you'll see what i mean.
the weekend has started reasonably. smashingly actually. my friday night was fantastic. today and tomorrow are full of work and attempts at essay finishing, with a disappointing lack of spooning. but necesary things will get done, and next week will be awesome, i expect.
oh yeah the blog format's back to normal.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Goodness Gracious Badness
maybe not gracious. i'm handing in my essay a day late - which is worse in terms of the terrible ramifications one might extrapolate according to my patterns of behaviour in previous semesters than the actual damage of the act itself (2% loss of marks). but still lame, obviously. gracious lameness? no such thing. (although i will review any videos you might (for whatever reason) have that attempt to prove otherwsise, for i imagine they would be full of hil-arious fallings down. followed presumably by pathetic weeping and moans of self loathing.)
on the bright side, everything else so far has been handed in on time.
on the lame side, again, the slow progress i'm making on work kept me away from multiple shindigs with friends last weekend. i apologise, if you are one such friend.
i made attempts to get out of the house on sunday, but realised as i arrived at the station that i'd left my phone at home. what followed is the reason i never wanted to have a mobile phone: a semi breakdown, an attack of anxiousness over HOW ON EARTH i would line up transport to the event once getting off the train. so i became incredibly surly and wandered home again, leaving megan to worry about my poor head. once i arrived home again my mother spun some convince (i am using 'convince' as a noun meaning 'evidence or a story that someone uses to convince you of something'. i'm fairly sure there's an existing noun that would be less ambiguous here, but i can't think of it) about my leaving my phone at home being the Great White Spirit's way of telling me i should stay home to finish my essay. i mumbled that the Great White Fuck should have given me an extension. but agreed to the broader sense of her argument.
so that was sunday afternoon. sunday morning was great - Megan had stayed the night and it was her birthday, so i was lucky enough to wake up snuggled beside her on her first day of being 19. we had kind of a delayed start, which meant missing breakfast, which i felt awful about, but nevertheless spending the morning with the girl i love is always a fantastic start to the day. the week, if you're one of those people who sunday as the first day. is that a bible thing? i don't know.
saturday night was nice as well, as it was the official opening of my dad's building, celebrated with an exhibition of his, phil's and nick's artwork. none of nick's photography was there, but here is a link: http://www.nickrobinson.com.au/photography.html
look at it.
that is the weekend in brief.... hopefully the rest of the week is productive!
maybe not gracious. i'm handing in my essay a day late - which is worse in terms of the terrible ramifications one might extrapolate according to my patterns of behaviour in previous semesters than the actual damage of the act itself (2% loss of marks). but still lame, obviously. gracious lameness? no such thing. (although i will review any videos you might (for whatever reason) have that attempt to prove otherwsise, for i imagine they would be full of hil-arious fallings down. followed presumably by pathetic weeping and moans of self loathing.)
on the bright side, everything else so far has been handed in on time.
on the lame side, again, the slow progress i'm making on work kept me away from multiple shindigs with friends last weekend. i apologise, if you are one such friend.
i made attempts to get out of the house on sunday, but realised as i arrived at the station that i'd left my phone at home. what followed is the reason i never wanted to have a mobile phone: a semi breakdown, an attack of anxiousness over HOW ON EARTH i would line up transport to the event once getting off the train. so i became incredibly surly and wandered home again, leaving megan to worry about my poor head. once i arrived home again my mother spun some convince (i am using 'convince' as a noun meaning 'evidence or a story that someone uses to convince you of something'. i'm fairly sure there's an existing noun that would be less ambiguous here, but i can't think of it) about my leaving my phone at home being the Great White Spirit's way of telling me i should stay home to finish my essay. i mumbled that the Great White Fuck should have given me an extension. but agreed to the broader sense of her argument.
so that was sunday afternoon. sunday morning was great - Megan had stayed the night and it was her birthday, so i was lucky enough to wake up snuggled beside her on her first day of being 19. we had kind of a delayed start, which meant missing breakfast, which i felt awful about, but nevertheless spending the morning with the girl i love is always a fantastic start to the day. the week, if you're one of those people who sunday as the first day. is that a bible thing? i don't know.
saturday night was nice as well, as it was the official opening of my dad's building, celebrated with an exhibition of his, phil's and nick's artwork. none of nick's photography was there, but here is a link: http://www.nickrobinson.com.au/photography.html
look at it.
that is the weekend in brief.... hopefully the rest of the week is productive!
Friday, May 02, 2008
I’ve changed the format of my blog, so you can only see one day’s posting at a time. It’s a half hearted exercise in intransience. Half hearted because you’ll notice everything is still archived on the left. Maybe next week I’ll get rid of the archives… maybe the week after I’ll burn everything I own. It is probably good that we don't live in a communist society, or I’d be out with my matches in the streets and in your houses. As for the more intangible things that i might be said to "own", or qualities that i "posess"... i'll have to think on it.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Encounters in Enmore
Hey, hey, here
And he put a lollypop in my hand
Is the bus coming, or what?
Yeah they come every five minutes
Down this road -
Maybe not at eleven, though.
Have a good life, have a good life, you know?
Yeah, yeah it’s good, how’s your life?
Oh yeah oh yeah
People
Life is
People are great, aren’t they?
And I unwrapped the lollipop.
Here it is!
He was drunk, or just old.
Hey, hey, here
And he gave a lollipop to
A woman with an obvious distaste for
Lollipops or strangers.
Hey gorgeous!!
Another girl walked past on the bus.
Nice to be nice, isn’t it?
Although you can’t take it too far, right?
Yeah that’s right, but
You seem nice.
He was drunk.
I waved goodbye at my stop.
Hey is this train coming, or what?
Yeah I know, I’m freezing!
They come every fifteen or so
Maybe not at twelve, though.
Had a good night?
Yeah, yeah
People are
Strange,
And great, you know?
A guy just gave me this lollipop
I don’t know if it’s
Laced with something
Haha oh I’m a nurse, it’s ok!
Oh haha, yeah then I won’t worry!
Maybe it’s laced with
Something crazy, you know?
All the kids will be like
Where’s that drunk
With the lollipops?
Hey yeah.
My hand was tingling.
Hey weird, my hand’s tingling.
And she said
You’ve got a slipped disc, hey.
Ah I think I’m ok.
Nah, go to the hospital, hey.
Alright,
Hey I’m Bron, by the way
nothing went to plan today, it was fantastic.
i skipped a lecture to stay with Megan until she had a tute, i met up with Rach and talked about the ethics of eating meat, i found out my tute had been cancelled (or something. in any case no one was in the room apart from myself and one other bewildered classmate) so i worked on my essay instead... and then wandered to Jared's, where we made something reasonable with lentils and watched QI.
it then took me two hours to get home, partly because i stopped off at the Bank to say hi to Shang, partly because i didn't realise trains stop at 11:55 on normal week nights. about ten of us waited for over half an hour - i would have given up earlier and caught the bus to central, but an awesome girl on the platform struck up a conversation with me, and i felt no pressing urge to leave a good conversation just so i could get home to procrastinate.
i also, earlier in the evening, met a man who gave me not one but TWO chuppa chups. both of them good flavours... not something lame like pineapple. i was absolutely charmed by his gesture of friendliness toward a stranger. this has happened to me before... the day of my HSC group performance i sat next to a woman with blue eyebrows on a seat at Waitara station. her name was Pat, she gave me two lollies and told me about her life. we talked about how nice the sun is.
oh yeah i don't have a slipped disc. that part was artistic license.
but the moral of my day was that people are everything, and everything is awesome.
also, always take candy from strangers. (unless they are speaking in tongues, probably.)
Hey, hey, here
And he put a lollypop in my hand
Is the bus coming, or what?
Yeah they come every five minutes
Down this road -
Maybe not at eleven, though.
Have a good life, have a good life, you know?
Yeah, yeah it’s good, how’s your life?
Oh yeah oh yeah
People
Life is
People are great, aren’t they?
And I unwrapped the lollipop.
Here it is!
He was drunk, or just old.
Hey, hey, here
And he gave a lollipop to
A woman with an obvious distaste for
Lollipops or strangers.
Hey gorgeous!!
Another girl walked past on the bus.
Nice to be nice, isn’t it?
Although you can’t take it too far, right?
Yeah that’s right, but
You seem nice.
He was drunk.
I waved goodbye at my stop.
Hey is this train coming, or what?
Yeah I know, I’m freezing!
They come every fifteen or so
Maybe not at twelve, though.
Had a good night?
Yeah, yeah
People are
Strange,
And great, you know?
A guy just gave me this lollipop
I don’t know if it’s
Laced with something
Haha oh I’m a nurse, it’s ok!
Oh haha, yeah then I won’t worry!
Maybe it’s laced with
Something crazy, you know?
All the kids will be like
Where’s that drunk
With the lollipops?
Hey yeah.
My hand was tingling.
Hey weird, my hand’s tingling.
And she said
You’ve got a slipped disc, hey.
Ah I think I’m ok.
Nah, go to the hospital, hey.
Alright,
Hey I’m Bron, by the way
nothing went to plan today, it was fantastic.
i skipped a lecture to stay with Megan until she had a tute, i met up with Rach and talked about the ethics of eating meat, i found out my tute had been cancelled (or something. in any case no one was in the room apart from myself and one other bewildered classmate) so i worked on my essay instead... and then wandered to Jared's, where we made something reasonable with lentils and watched QI.
it then took me two hours to get home, partly because i stopped off at the Bank to say hi to Shang, partly because i didn't realise trains stop at 11:55 on normal week nights. about ten of us waited for over half an hour - i would have given up earlier and caught the bus to central, but an awesome girl on the platform struck up a conversation with me, and i felt no pressing urge to leave a good conversation just so i could get home to procrastinate.
i also, earlier in the evening, met a man who gave me not one but TWO chuppa chups. both of them good flavours... not something lame like pineapple. i was absolutely charmed by his gesture of friendliness toward a stranger. this has happened to me before... the day of my HSC group performance i sat next to a woman with blue eyebrows on a seat at Waitara station. her name was Pat, she gave me two lollies and told me about her life. we talked about how nice the sun is.
oh yeah i don't have a slipped disc. that part was artistic license.
but the moral of my day was that people are everything, and everything is awesome.
also, always take candy from strangers. (unless they are speaking in tongues, probably.)
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